BSG No Difference
by Mariel3
Summary: Sometimes there's no difference to the 'eitheror' thing. AR


Sorry, but there's been a decided lack of AR recently, so ready or not, here this is, to fill the gap for a bit. In a few days, I'll be posting something for Too High A Cost.

This is an unexpected something that isn't exactly what I'd like it to be - but I can't quite figure out what to do besides post it and see what people think. Which means yes, your thoughts would be appreciated. There's an intentional ambiguity that either makes or breaks it, and I'm not certain which it is...

In any event, here it is:

**No Difference**  
By: Mariel

-xxxxxxxxxx-

The hatch door shut with an echoed clang of finality. It was a welcome sound, shutting out as it did what would soon be a tumultuous clamour in reaction to what the two who still remained in the room had just revealed. Word would soon spread like wildfire, sending shockwaves throughout the fleet. Here, in the eye of the storm, however, silence fell softly into the corners of the room.

With everyone gone and the quiet so comfortably settled, she could hear the rustle of cloth against cloth as he lifted his arm to invite her to sit.

For a moment, she remained motionless. Then she walked over to his sofa. Sitting down, she observed him carefully as he settled himself next to her.

He regarded her calmly. Their almost-touching-but-not-quite closeness heightened both their sense of connection and their sense of mutual peril.

"For a moment, I didn't think they'd agree to leave us alone together."

"I guess after what you just told them, it seemed pretty obvious we aren't likely to kill each other."

"It's still surprising."

"They're as uncertain about all this as we are. We're President of the Twelve Colonies and Admiral of the Fleet. It's difficult to disregard what either of us want. I insisted that I stay. What could they do? Put me under arrest? They don't want to go that far unless they have to." A shrug, then: "It was a lot to throw at them at once: one of us a cylon, and oh, by the way, we're involved, have been for years, and intend to continue to be." A sigh. "It's a lot for them to accept. They don't know how to handle this any more than we do. This turns everything upside down - for everyone."

"You should probably have gone with them. Explained, or reassured them somehow. They're going to need help understanding. This is going to be frightening for some."

"Everything's frightening. But you're not the first cylon we've discovered, and you wouldn't be the first cylon the fleet will have trusted if that's what they choose to do. They know where I stand, and I will not in any way allow myself to appear to distance myself from you. I don't care what the repercussions are. We've been in this together from the beginning. I don't know how this came to be, but I know you, and I know what you've done to ensure our survival. Somehow, that has to mean something. We're going to make it to Earth. Together. I won't do it unless you're with me. I can't. This is-"

There weren't words to describe what 'this' was, and they both knew it.

A brief silence was broken abruptly. "When we learned about the others - did you ever think one of us could possibly be a cylon as well?"

A warm, knowing glance accompanied the dry response: "Not really. I've always been pretty sure I wasn't, and I'd never noticed your spine glowing, so I thought we were pretty safe..."

It was one persistent folk tale about cylons they now knew untrue beyond a doubt...

_No glowing spines during sex. _

A smile. "Yes, well...if necessary be sure to use that as an explanation for your not knowing that I..."

Words drifted away and silence crept back from the corners.

There'd been no glowing spines, but what burned between them had done so almost since the first time they'd met, and had withstood everything the past three years had thrown at them. That their relationship had always been problematical was a given; that it was now more so, that their relationship - both official and personal - now had greater significance than ever before, was also evident. No one could have foreseen this.

No one could have done anything to prevent it.

In a movement borne of more than shock and desperation, their hands met and clasped. The contact brought with it a cushion of calm. They'd loved one another, stood together and held one another up for what seemed like forever. What they had just revealed to the fleet was disturbing but it had done nothing to sway their instinct to turn toward, rather than from, the other.

As they always had.

From the beginning.

Confusion, dismay, fear...they felt all those things now, and both cylon and human felt it in equal measure. Two humans, fighting to save humanity, or one human and one unknowing cylon doing the same: did discovering the latter make such a difference? How was one different from the other in terms of intent or result?

Time passed, and they sat, fingers entwined, in their strange island of calm. Here, in the warmth of his quarters, tranquility joined the silence. Outside, they knew the storm would be gathering strength.

Instinctively, they moved closer. She removed her jacket and his arm wrapped around her. After unbuttoning his uniform, she tucked her arm beneath it and rested her head against his chest. They would survive this. Their goals had not changed, who they were had not altered as fundamentally as some would think. The fleet's changed perception of them, however, would be difficult to overcome, and they understood that. There were those who would consider, accept, and find a way to even forgive, if forgiveness were something that could figure in this. But others would shy back in horror and distrust, and express anger, shock, a need for revenge...

Human nature. It was a dual-edged and capricious sword.

And was presently wielded in a mad and uncertain universe.

With familiar ease, they nestled against one another. He rested his chin on the top of her head and closed his eyes. She sighed and relaxed against him, her arms tightening around him slightly.

No matter what permutation of events took place outside, and no matter what they needed to do in order to accommodate it, they would accommodate it together. Face it as one. The fleet would have been informed that one or both of them would give up their position if necessary.

The reaction to that was something they daren't guess.

"It'll be all right," he murmured.

She nodded. "We'll be fine."

Letting silence settle protectively around them once more, they held one another more tightly and waited.

End


End file.
